Today, I entered BlogSpot. Thought of writing something, thought of writing about my feelings but suddenly my mind went blank. I don't know if that is what we called calm because I still have a lot of troubling thoughts. I don't know why but I've been listening to the Buddhist Chanting songs nowadays. It seems to calm me down a lot somehow. The songs are like the most beautiful thing in the world. I almost burst into tears without any reason. I just feel so moved and so stupid at the same time. Sometimes I wonder why am I still lingering around this materialistic and yet unreal world. Why am I so caught up by so much of unnecessary feelings which are merely illusions? Why are people so blind to see their own stain but keep seeing other's? Some people just blindly follow what others do without questioning. Is that right or wrong? I feel the guilt as I do things against what I am supposed to. I feel the guilt when I feel greedy, when I am self-fish, when I am in love… I know everything will end up being nothing… and yet I’m chasing after it…without a clue. I feel like a sinful and thoughtless human being sometimes, because I’m stuck.