Coming out from that cubicle, she started to do experiment today.It might sounded like a crazy scientist experiment but it was merely a simple synthesis.However, work made her feel better since it removed her attention away from the negativity in that cubicle.Somehow, every time when she feels down, he feels fine. And vice-versa. He felt that way too. It is like both of them feel the insecurity every time their partner feels good. Odd.
It is Friday but not a nice day to her because her work continues on Saturday.
Wishes for a nice weekend,
Girl from that isolated cubicle
Friday, 12 June 2009
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Where is my next station?
Where is my next station?
I am lost in the middle of nowhere as I’d mentioned many times in my writings. Suddenly, two buses which head towards two different directions appear in front of me. I stop to think. If I took bus No.1, I will be going to a huge, busy city with many highly-educated nerds where I might be able to get a successful career. If I took bus No.2, I will be going to a small and quiet village where I will be married to a man who loves me more than anything. Perhaps I will run a small cozy coffee shop where I write articles and play music all day long.
Here I am, only allowed to take one bus. I will lose one of them if I took another. What is it that I want to preserve? Where is it that I want to go? Where is my next station? Still doubting.
Girl from that isolated cubicle…10th June 2009
I am lost in the middle of nowhere as I’d mentioned many times in my writings. Suddenly, two buses which head towards two different directions appear in front of me. I stop to think. If I took bus No.1, I will be going to a huge, busy city with many highly-educated nerds where I might be able to get a successful career. If I took bus No.2, I will be going to a small and quiet village where I will be married to a man who loves me more than anything. Perhaps I will run a small cozy coffee shop where I write articles and play music all day long.
Here I am, only allowed to take one bus. I will lose one of them if I took another. What is it that I want to preserve? Where is it that I want to go? Where is my next station? Still doubting.
Girl from that isolated cubicle…10th June 2009
Friday, 5 June 2009
Something from Lobster and Swan
This is originally from Lobster and Swan, I find it interesting when I accidentally bumped into that little blog nearby. So I decided to copy this and answer the questions.
“Tagged by Sofia, with a little tulle by Sofia.
What is your current obsession?
Freedom and a peaceful breathe.
What is your weirdest obsession?
To be weird.
What are you wearing today?
A blue blouse with dark blue skinny jeans.
What's for dinner?
Some Korean traditional chicken soup.
What would you eat for your last meal?
Nothing.
What's the last thing you bought?
A piece of rice-cake bread and I did not know that it was rice cake.
What are you listening to right now?
The click five, the reason why.
What is your favorite ice-cream flavour?
Honey Nut Yogurt, cold stone
What do you think of the person who tagged you?
Nobody tagged me, so…
If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Maybe Amsterdam.
If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Amsterdam
Which language do you want to learn?
Tamil
What's your favorite quote (for now)?
It's choice, not chance, that determines your destiny. Jean Nidetch.<-- I like this one
What is your favorite colour?
Yellow
What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
That Victoria secret bare back dress that I bought for my birthday last year.
What is your dream job?
A freelance writer.
What's your favourite magazine?
I don’t really read magazine, but I like fashion magazines.
If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on?
I’ll get a pair of nice shoes and eat something good with the rest of the money.
Favorite designer?
No idea. Anybody.
Do you admire any one's style?
Mine.
Describe your personal style?
Sexy lady? But I am not allow to wear mini skirt in the lab… So…
What are you going to do after this?
Go home and sleep.
What are your favourite movies?
The never ending story, The cave of the golden rose, He is just not that into you, Transformer, X-men.
What's your favourite fruit?
Pineapple
What inspires you?
People, feelings, music, surrounding.
What is on the walls in your bedroom?
Nothing, cockroaches sometimes
Your favorite book ?
The Little Price
Do you collect something ?
Feelings and thoughts.
The rules :
1. Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, add one more question of your own.
2. Tag eight other people.
No pressure but if any of you or anyone else would like to take part please do!
Kc
Laiyin
Wen
Syidah
Shiting
Sue
Tanya
Vinod
Necklace featured above from Sofia Barao's Etsy Boutique ( Copied by girl from the cubicle)
“Tagged by Sofia, with a little tulle by Sofia.
What is your current obsession?
Freedom and a peaceful breathe.
What is your weirdest obsession?
To be weird.
What are you wearing today?
A blue blouse with dark blue skinny jeans.
What's for dinner?
Some Korean traditional chicken soup.
What would you eat for your last meal?
Nothing.
What's the last thing you bought?
A piece of rice-cake bread and I did not know that it was rice cake.
What are you listening to right now?
The click five, the reason why.
What is your favorite ice-cream flavour?
Honey Nut Yogurt, cold stone
What do you think of the person who tagged you?
Nobody tagged me, so…
If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Maybe Amsterdam.
If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Amsterdam
Which language do you want to learn?
Tamil
What's your favorite quote (for now)?
It's choice, not chance, that determines your destiny. Jean Nidetch.<-- I like this one
What is your favorite colour?
Yellow
What is your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
That Victoria secret bare back dress that I bought for my birthday last year.
What is your dream job?
A freelance writer.
What's your favourite magazine?
I don’t really read magazine, but I like fashion magazines.
If you had £100 now, what would you spend it on?
I’ll get a pair of nice shoes and eat something good with the rest of the money.
Favorite designer?
No idea. Anybody.
Do you admire any one's style?
Mine.
Describe your personal style?
Sexy lady? But I am not allow to wear mini skirt in the lab… So…
What are you going to do after this?
Go home and sleep.
What are your favourite movies?
The never ending story, The cave of the golden rose, He is just not that into you, Transformer, X-men.
What's your favourite fruit?
Pineapple
What inspires you?
People, feelings, music, surrounding.
What is on the walls in your bedroom?
Nothing, cockroaches sometimes
Your favorite book ?
The Little Price
Do you collect something ?
Feelings and thoughts.
The rules :
1. Respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, add one more question of your own.
2. Tag eight other people.
No pressure but if any of you or anyone else would like to take part please do!
Kc
Laiyin
Wen
Syidah
Shiting
Sue
Tanya
Vinod
Necklace featured above from Sofia Barao's Etsy Boutique ( Copied by girl from the cubicle)
Behind the Invisible Bars
She never noticed that lavatory was such a useful and beautiful place until today. This morning, she was extremely sleepy when she sat in front of the computer in her tiny cubicle. She wished to take a nap on the desk but she knew that the law did not allow her to. So, she had some coffee. After a while, with her half-opened eyes, she went into the magical world of toilet. She sat down for a while on the toilet bowl. While she was resting her eyes, she fell asleep for a few minutes. Today, she made a new discovery about toilet. It might be the best place for her behind these invisible bars.
Time passed by quite quickly, it’s 9 in the evening when she went to the other lavatory on the opposite site. She did her stuff and came out. While she was washing her hand in the sink, a beautiful scenery right outside the little windows in the toilet caught her attention. Wow! That was the most beautiful scene to her at the moment. It was beautiful. She opened the windows and sat on the heater which was turned off for a while. That moment in the lavatory was incredibly peaceful; the smell of fresh air outside, the breeze of freedom… was what she desired.
Today, she found out that not only she’s in an unbearable grad school, she was detained in the invisible prison.
Time passed by quite quickly, it’s 9 in the evening when she went to the other lavatory on the opposite site. She did her stuff and came out. While she was washing her hand in the sink, a beautiful scenery right outside the little windows in the toilet caught her attention. Wow! That was the most beautiful scene to her at the moment. It was beautiful. She opened the windows and sat on the heater which was turned off for a while. That moment in the lavatory was incredibly peaceful; the smell of fresh air outside, the breeze of freedom… was what she desired.
Today, she found out that not only she’s in an unbearable grad school, she was detained in the invisible prison.
Thursday, 4 June 2009
Discovery about 4th of July
4th of July is a significant date in the history of America and it is my birthday. Today, out of no where, i was surfing the net for some fortune telling stuff because of the insecurity and confusion of my life these days. And there was a link which kinda caught my eye, "366 birthday profile". One click and my profile popped up on the screen. At the end of the whole personality description, they included a small list of famous people who were born on the same date. I was curious, so I checked all of the names on wikipedia. And I discovered something! Most famous people in my list were not in engineering school! They were writers or artist! Even that guy Rube Goldberg who went to engineering school became a cartoonist eventually. Am i on the right track here???? I wonder! Maybe i should have taken the diverged path.
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
Exclusion and Inclusion
Exclusion and Inclusion
The world seems to be created based on the fundamental rules of inclusion and exclusion. Things that are alike or similar to each other tend to attract each other while pushing those that are different away. This is also applied in the law of attraction because every single thought or feeling you had is what placed you in your current position. Thus, she suspected that she must be similar to them in some ways that brought her here. However, she knows that their differences are much stronger.
There were times when she actually believed that she was in the inclusion package here. But she was very wrong. She has tried to find a way to fit in and it seemed like she was on the right track but she was actually just giving in what so ever she can. Every society or organization or group has their inclusion and exclusion conditions. You’ve got to fulfill all those conditions in order to get into the list. Here, are the terms to be in the ‘inclusion list’ here.
1. Stop your own thinking and abide every single command from your seniors.
2. Do not ask, just do it as you were told.
3. Sacrifice your 101% of private time and privacy.
4. Work as many hours as you can and sleep as least as you can.
5. Do not leave office before your seniors do.
6. Do not ask for your human rights.
7. Smile and nod even if you disagree with what they mentioned.
8. Buy their hypocritical crap and make that look real.
9. ………………………………….
Being an exclusion from an organization that you basically live with more than 12 hours a day does not make things any better. And so, this innocent little girl tries so hard to fit in. Nevertheless, she has not really fulfilled any of the above conditions and hence there is no way for her to be in the inclusion list. Suddenly she feels like she is just a girl in an isolated cubicle, trying to give in everything she can to be in the inclusion list without knowing why she is stuck in this obsession. However, tolerate from every single aspects does not seem like a good choice either. It is like betraying your own principle of life, just to be on some stupid list.
She has been excluded in this isolated little confined space for more than 5 months now. She knows that this is not going to last forever. The longest period would be two years and the shortest would be anytime after she decided to bounce. So the question that arises in her head now is that, if she leaves this place, will she be able to find a place that genuinely includes her? Being exclusion is too fatiguing but at the same time faking herself to be included does not make her feel any better.
The world seems to be created based on the fundamental rules of inclusion and exclusion. Things that are alike or similar to each other tend to attract each other while pushing those that are different away. This is also applied in the law of attraction because every single thought or feeling you had is what placed you in your current position. Thus, she suspected that she must be similar to them in some ways that brought her here. However, she knows that their differences are much stronger.
There were times when she actually believed that she was in the inclusion package here. But she was very wrong. She has tried to find a way to fit in and it seemed like she was on the right track but she was actually just giving in what so ever she can. Every society or organization or group has their inclusion and exclusion conditions. You’ve got to fulfill all those conditions in order to get into the list. Here, are the terms to be in the ‘inclusion list’ here.
1. Stop your own thinking and abide every single command from your seniors.
2. Do not ask, just do it as you were told.
3. Sacrifice your 101% of private time and privacy.
4. Work as many hours as you can and sleep as least as you can.
5. Do not leave office before your seniors do.
6. Do not ask for your human rights.
7. Smile and nod even if you disagree with what they mentioned.
8. Buy their hypocritical crap and make that look real.
9. ………………………………….
Being an exclusion from an organization that you basically live with more than 12 hours a day does not make things any better. And so, this innocent little girl tries so hard to fit in. Nevertheless, she has not really fulfilled any of the above conditions and hence there is no way for her to be in the inclusion list. Suddenly she feels like she is just a girl in an isolated cubicle, trying to give in everything she can to be in the inclusion list without knowing why she is stuck in this obsession. However, tolerate from every single aspects does not seem like a good choice either. It is like betraying your own principle of life, just to be on some stupid list.
She has been excluded in this isolated little confined space for more than 5 months now. She knows that this is not going to last forever. The longest period would be two years and the shortest would be anytime after she decided to bounce. So the question that arises in her head now is that, if she leaves this place, will she be able to find a place that genuinely includes her? Being exclusion is too fatiguing but at the same time faking herself to be included does not make her feel any better.
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Learning the 7th language, good start!
Girl from that small cubicle is writing again. Today, she was planning to resign from her job. However, his word smacked her in the face; made her feel like the biggest coward in the world. She might sound dumb when she kept quiet instead of fighting back, but she did not want to be rude to anyone. She believed what goes around comes around and thus she did not want any bad thing to strike back. Maybe she thought too far and hesitated too much, it was that stuff that held her back. Maybe… So, she stayed again, just for another week. By weekend, she will be meeting the boss of that part time job introduced by a senior. Then, she will decide again. Her life is somehow miserable but yet interesting.
Today, she decided to learn the seventh language, which is the language that her boyfriend speaks, Tamil. Her mother tongue is Mandarin even though she is not from China, and so is he. He is not from India either, but he is Tamil. She had interest in learning that language when she was in high school; she learnt some from her friends indeed. But that was maybe 10 years ago. It’s not easy to learn a new language at her age, and yet she is confident. Tamil language is like drawing. The alphabets look almost like the pattern on fancy fences. She learnt the vocal today, tried to memorize some of them. After 4 years of relationship, he reminded that she needs to learn his language in order to move to another level. She agreed. And so she started to learn.
She will speak her 7th language very soon.
Perhaps those negativity will go away when she switch her attention to a new thing.
Today, she decided to learn the seventh language, which is the language that her boyfriend speaks, Tamil. Her mother tongue is Mandarin even though she is not from China, and so is he. He is not from India either, but he is Tamil. She had interest in learning that language when she was in high school; she learnt some from her friends indeed. But that was maybe 10 years ago. It’s not easy to learn a new language at her age, and yet she is confident. Tamil language is like drawing. The alphabets look almost like the pattern on fancy fences. She learnt the vocal today, tried to memorize some of them. After 4 years of relationship, he reminded that she needs to learn his language in order to move to another level. She agreed. And so she started to learn.
She will speak her 7th language very soon.
Perhaps those negativity will go away when she switch her attention to a new thing.
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